I am a firm believer that the scriptures must be cohesive. By this I mean there should not be any scriptures that contradict one another in application. For example, if the Bible appeared to teach both "do not murder" and "it's ok to murder," it would be very important to me to work out this inconsistency. All of scripture must work together as one cohesive paradigm in which we operate and make wise decisions. I used the phrase "work out the inconsistency" because it is very common to not understand a passage and in those situations it might seem that there is an inconsistency in God's teachings when in reality there is not.
Now, I don't claim to have fully thought out or sorted through every perceived inconsistency within Scripture. In fact, for a continuously maturing Christian, it would be impossible to ever "figure it all out." We are always running into new struggles in our life to which we must learn to apply our Christian paradigm appropriately.
I think of when I was a single man (boy) in high school. One of my main struggles was understanding how to both submit to my parents decisions for me, and develop properly into an independent man who could make his own decisions. The Bible gives extensive instructions on both of these ideas and without proper context they might seem to be in conflict with one another. Later, when I got married, I had to learn (and am still learning) how to be the spiritual guide, general leader and ultimate decision maker in my family while at the same time, I am called to love my wife to such an extent that I put her well-being above my own. That one you never stop improving upon. Being married is the ultimate personality roller-coaster. You have the opportunity to be taught to be a great leader, but only through a process of complete humility.
Now, I find myself working through a new application of my Christian paradigm. I have a 3 year old. So far in my life, outside of the arguments I had with my dad after I got caught sneaking out at 15, I have never had the shortcomings in my personality so strongly challenged. At every turn I feel like I am being tested...by a 3 year old: yes. But ultimately, I believe, by God. So I am forced to look at Caleb and apply my understanding of God's love and teachings, to my interaction with Caleb.
It's strange, but every time he talks back to me, or disobeys me, or just won't stop talking, I struggle every time to know how to respond. On the one hand, I want to punish him. I want him to suffer for the "ills" he has caused me. I feel righteously indignant towards him. He deserves the fullness of his punishment. But on the other hand, I sympathize. I can get so angry, but part of me wants to respond by sitting him down and telling him how much I love him and how much it hurts me when he doesn't do what I've asked. Two very different approaches, but like the other examples, they aren't mutually exclusive.
It struck me one day that this battle in my heart is very similar to the battle God must feel with all of us. We ignore God, we lie to Him and we generally disobey him. We do all the things Caleb does...but far worse. We know far better than a 3 year old, and in knowing better we are more directly affronting God than Caleb, at 3, ever could.
And we see in scripture that God, in some anthropomorphic way, went through the same struggle ever time he disciplined his people (Israel), that I go through with Caleb. Sometimes God's answer was righteous indignation and punishment. Sometimes, it was a softer approach. In my experience, people are always willing to give their opinions on how to raise a child, whether or not you want to hear it. But the phrase that has always stuck out to me is that: in dealing with a challenging child I should "be willing to break the will, without breaking the spirit."
I think this was God's goal with us. We were his, and he did everything he could to create a situation for our success. Sometimes that included firm discipline. However, in the end, he would not break our spirit. We still had to choose to submit, he would not force it. How much more valuable is a Caleb with a passionate, strong personality that has been honed in such a way as to give continuous glory to God, versus a Caleb who has been broken. A Caleb who fears being the fullness of the man God made him, but is instead weak and more vulnerable to the world's luring.
I believe that this balanced discipline approach is how I must work to apply my Christian paradigm to my new(ish) experience of being a Godly father. But man, there is a serious learning curve with all this. The wisdom I seek is the wisdom to discern when to apply the proverbial "hammer" and when to just hold him, love him and talk. I pray for God's wisdom to be in me. And when I screw that up, I pray that his mercy would take over. Thank God for the opportunity to have multiple children. Otherwise, everything learned on the guinea pig, first kid, would be worthless. :)
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